Broken

Growing up my dad was a recovering alcoholic. I vaguely remember him drinking beer and getting a sip as preschooler on his lap, nice, yeah, I know:) But he was sober for 28 years. He was a rock for me. Maybe that is where my restlessness is stirring from, when you live your life and know things that then are no longer true. I feel like my dad is gone. My dad, who for years and years, knew the answer to everything. He was the smartest person ever, when in doubt, ask Dad! That changed a few years ago, and he seemed to be in a funk that led him to drink or his drinking got him there to being with. One will likely never know. He had gotten a college degree and worked for a great company for many years. He started to be stressed and trapped at work, they were refusing to give him assistance and had eliminated support positions and were bullying him. It was the year of the babies. All four of my siblings had babies within 6 months of eachother. My sister had moved out to Michigan for her hubby to get his free ride to law school, smart son of a gun. Must have been August 2010. It wasn't until that October that we learned that on the move my Dad had gone and got some vodka and got plastered. He couldn't keep it a secret any longer like his wife had been. My brother-in-law was confided in and respected that enough to think it was a one time thing or something that was on the mend. Instead it turned out to be a nightmare that seems finally over. This includes felony charges, yet i would minimize. He lost his right to bear firearms and hunt, a component to my Dad's ever existence. Right now he is choosing sobriety, but I am leaning more because of an incompetency in his skills and understanding at this point. I grieve the loss of my Dad, he is no longer approachable, knowledgable, caring, concerned, or helpful. He has a cross of alcohol brain damage or the start of alzhiemers. He is my Dad and I love him, this is just an unforeseen part of his aging and it sucks.